Do you examine your conscience? How often do you go to Sacramental Confession? What is included in your examination of conscience?
This exercise is the foundation of a spiritual life built on the Truth. We must face the truth about our own lives before we can more on in growth. For example, if a person seeking to grow in the life of prayer is hateful to his brother, or is stuck in some secret sin, how can he move forward?
We begin our examen by "placing ourselves in God's presence." This is only facing the reality that God is already and truly with us and we only need to reflect on this reality for a moment for it to change our perspective. Once we have done this we ask Him for the necessary means to know ourselves and the state of our soul. We can then begin to either just review the previous day, minute by minute, or review the time period since our last confession.
This is where the hard work begins - facing ourselves with the eyes of Jesus and Mary. We must hold ourselves up to these models of the Christian life to get an extremely realistic picture of our state of affairs. We should compare our attitudes, ideas, and actions to that of Jesus and Mary and not be afraid to face the grim reality of our sin. The fact is, we are sinners and should never hide from our sins, but rather bring it out into the open for Jesus to conquer. How do you compare to these two models of the Christian life?
A couple of good books I recommend for learning the way of Jesus and Mary are "The Imitation of Christ" by Thomas a Kempis and "The Imitation of Mary" by Alexander de Rouville. Read these slow and reflectively and do not be afraid to act upon the teachings therein.
"Here is what I feel I must say to you in the Lord today. To live a devout life without failing, all you need do is to fix some excellent and generous maxims in your mind". St. Pio of Pietrelcina
What spiritual maxims do you live by? A while back I read "Cheaper By The Dozen" about a father of a family with twelve children. Aside from the normal difficulties of life, this father had developed little ways to help educate and form his children in his home. One of the many ways he did this was to have phrases, math charts, foreign languages, etc painted on the walls of their beach house. When I heard this something perked up in my mind and heart.
The next day I took out a permanent marker and started writing spiritual maxims on our bathroom wall. I figured this was a great place because everyone would have to visit it everyday and be a captive audience. Our list grew through things we had read and also through friends and family. See, we had left a couple of markers near the wall for anyone to add something worthwhile.
Although we had to leave that wall behind when we moved, we have created a new "wall" in our present bathroom. It is framed and the markers are nearby. Just the other day my wife's brother commented that he always thinks about a quote he saw on our bathroom wall, "I'll sleep later" (for the life of me, I can't remember what saint said that!). He stated that this statement had resonated with him again and again!
So again, what spiritual maxims do you live by? Start to gather your guiding principles as they will form the person that God is asking you to be. St. Pio pray for us!
This is a quote taken from "The Spiritual Exercises of St. Ignatius":
The enemy also behaves like a false lover who wishes to remain hidden and does not want to be revealed. For when this deceitful man pays court, with evil intent, to the daughter of some good father or the wife of a good husband, he wants his words and suggestions to be kept secret. He is greatly displeased if the girl reveals to her father, or the wife to her husband, his deceitful words and depraved intentions, for he then clearly sees that his plans cannot succeed. In like manner, when the enemy of our human nature tempts a just soul with his wiles and deceits, he wishes and desires that they be received and kept in secret. When they are revealed to a confessor or some other spiritual person who understands his deceits and evil designs, the enemy is greatly displeased for he knows that he cannot succeed in his evil design once his obvious deceits have been discovered." (Rules for Discernment of Spirits, First Week, # 13)
Here is an awesome quote from the book, "The Spiritual Life: A Comprehensive Guide for Catholics Seeking Salvation, by Fr. Jean Nicholas Grou"
"With regard to all our undertakings, even the most holy, in which we are engaged by the will of God, He asks of us only our faithful labor, our careful application, and the employment of the means in our power. But He does not ask of us success; that depends on Him alone. And sometimes He permits, for our greater good, that the success should not be according to our hopes and intentions.
This quote applies well to a situation that I recently found myself in. I had worked at a natural chicken farm for six months and last year successfully raised 30 broiler chickens and 30 laying hens. I felt pretty confident and successful. Well, many friends and family sought my advice to begin raising their own chickens, I happily gave advice.
This spring I ordered 11o broiler chicks and 60 pullets (for laying hens) and felt great about this next big step in growing poultry for my family. It didn't take long for me to see that I had overdone it. As the birds grew, my space, feeders, and waterers were completely inadequate for 170 chicks. I had to shift gears and change my plans in order to allow the chicks to just survive.
Next came the time for "processing" (butchering). I had been blessed to have a friend that had the equipment to make this pretty easy. Unfortunately, my broilers were just not growing. Typically broilers get to about 8-10 lbs by 10 weeks and my birds were going on 12 weeks and only about 4-5 lbs. After calling the hatchery, I found out that the breed I had ordered were not meant to be that big and were considered "fryers". I was humbled. No longer would I pride myself on being the "chicken man".
My wife, a very holy woman ( I am sure she would dispute that) homeschools our children. She has had her struggles, but a couple of years ago she either read something or came to it in prayer - "Let go of the results!" This has been a powerful maxim in our household through the tough times. As the quote above states, we must do our work and do it well, but in the end, the results are out of our control. Just as with my chickens, I could have fed them the best grain, given them perfect pasture, and sung Ave Maria to them every morning, and still, they would have not grown to the size I desired...the results were out of my hands. I also think of the many men that support their families and have worked hard for years only to be layed off. Again, this is out of their hands. Coming to accept the results is another story...and that can only be done through the grace of God and a firm resolution of the will.
I was recently going through the Spiritual Exercises of St. Ignatius of Loyola and came across this paragraph right in the beginning. The explanation St. Ignatius gives us of "spiritual exercises" can help us understand what "spiritual coaching" is - in light of the comparison to sports training. Here it is:
"This expression 'spiritual exercises' embraces every method of examination of conscience, of meditation, of contemplation, of vocal and mental prayer, and of other spiritual activity that will be mentioned later. For just as strolling, walking, and running are bodily exercises, so spiritual exercises are methods of preparing and disposing the soul to free itself of all inordinate attachments, and after accomplishing this, of seeking and discovering the Divine Will regarding the disposition of one's life, thus insuring salvation of his soul."
So a couple of questions that a spiritual coach might ask are:
What spiritual exercises do you practice?
Are you "exercising" spiritually enough?
What are you hoping to achieve through these exercises?
What "inordinate attachments" are you clinging to that need to be dropped?
Do you need a "spiritual diet"?
What is God's will for your life, for your family's life?
"If you want to walk in earnest towards devotion, seek some good man who may guide and conduct you: this is the best advice I can give you. 'Though you search for the will of God,' says the devout Avila, 'you shall never so assuredly find it as in the way of humble obedience, so much recommended and practiced by all holy persons who have aspired to devotion." (Introduction to a Devout Life - St. Francis de Sales, chapter 4)
While I may not be the most credentialed or qualified in terms of degrees and education, I have benefited from spiritual direction and know its value. I have also realized how much God has allowed me to go through in my short life. I often hesitated in developing this website and this ministry, however, I believe God is asking me to partner with other faithful Catholics in order to build up the Body of Christ. I have also come to understand that we cannot simply trust ourselves, and we need someone to "bounce" things off of. We will oftentimes simply follow our own whims rather than challenge ourselves to give ourselves completely to God.
Please pray for me as I seek God's will in obedience - and I will pray for you.
