Have you ever read something that just smacked you sideways? I have been slowly absorbing the little book, "Uniformity with God's Will" by St. Alphonsus Ligouri. I say, "slowly absorbing" due to its strength. You simply can't just read it cover to cover in one sitting...it is too much. Well, I think this following quote is one of those that slaps you sideways:
"Sickness is the acid test of spirituality because it discloses whether our virtue is real or sham. If the soul is not agitated, does not break out in lamentations, is not fevershly restless in seeking a cure, but instead is submissive to the doctors and to superiors, is serene and tranquil, completely resigned to God's will, it is a sign that that soul is well-grounded in virtue."
Where do you fall in this "test" of St. Alphonsus? Are you real or sham...is your spirituality real or sham? I think of the Buddist that is trying to avoid and flee from all suffering...sham. I think of the pentecostal that is always praying for a "miracle" and trying to "believe God" will perform...I think of the person that blames God for everything going wrong, "Why...Why God, why did this have to happen...why does this always happen to me?!" I think of myself when I am frustrated during a long day of work or suffering from a migraine...I can't wait to pop some medication to alleviate my pain.
If we are honest with ourselves, most of us "fail" this test. We all try to avoid sickness at all costs, our health care system and economy show this to be true. It seems so counter-intuitive to simply accept the illness, should we not fight it at all costs? According to this great saint, that had more than his "fair" share of suffering, we should remain serene and tranquil, resigned to God's will.
I recently heard a homily in which the priest mentioned his time working with terminally ill children. He said most of his work was spent comforting the parents, not the children. The children seemed "serene and tranquil" and yet the parents were agitated and "fevershly restless in seeking a cure". What parent would not be? However, if we place ourselves at the foot of the Cross for a brief moment, we see the models of both enduring physical suffering as well as psychological. Christ suffering physical torment on the Cross, while His Mother, endured the most excruciating psychological suffering, and yet both had to say "yes" for our redemption to take place.
When we have these difficult moments of suffering and sickness, we should always remember Our Lord and Our Lady and the example they give us. It is not only possible to endure the suffering, but also to be "completely resigned to God's will." That is why a Crucifix always hung over the sickbed in a Catholic hospital, the model of redemptive suffering...and yet healing and
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